What is it?
Self-Compassion is made up of three parts:
- Self-Kindness
- Common Humanity
- Mindfulness
Here’s how I think of them:
- Do I talk to myself like I talk to the people I love?
- Can I recognize that I am never alone in my struggles? What I struggle with, lots of people struggle with. I am not the only one. Struggling is part of the human experience.
- Can I notice when my struggles appear, can I pause, get curious and let them in so that I can process them and mindfully move through them?
PAIN X RESISTANCE=SUFFERING
Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. If I can allow my pain in, I never have to experience suffering.
Why does it matter?
For much of my life, I chose self-criticism. I believed that if I was hard enough on myself, that I would do better next time. That thinking never worked.
Here is the one phrase that made me stop in my tracks:
“When you choose self-criticism, you are both the attacker and the attacked in the very same moment.” ~ Kristin Neff
Having a self-compassion practice changed so much for me. I still have hard moments and self-defeating thoughts, but I have a way to PAUSE, to ALLOW myself to feel what I am feeling and let it in, so that I can process it and mindfully LET IT GO.
Self-Compassion is linked to LESS depression, anxiety, stress and perfection.
Self-Compassion is linked to MORE happiness, life satisfaction, positive choices and positive relationships.
How do I practice it?
I’m ready to begin a self-compassion practice:
- 30 Days of Self-Compassion - self-led course (coming soon)
- 28 Days of Love & Kindness - self-led course - $19
- Self Compassion Matters Card Deck
"Self-Compassion is not about judging ourselves, but rather embracing ourselves flaws and all.” ~ Kristin Neff
“A moment of self-compassion can change your entire day. A string of such moments can change the course of your life.” ~ Christopher Germer
